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Defying its international reputation as an industrial conference hub, most Germans regard the city as chi-chi and haughty, thanks to its prosperousness (the only debt-free city in Germany), high living standards (sixth in Mercer's 2012 survey) and the boutique-lined Königsallee, where Claudia Schiffer was discovered by model scouts and Russian tourists head for weekend Gucci-snaffling shopping sprees.
As for alleged boringness, Düsseldorf's got Carnival.
Ever since Palatine ruler Johann Wilhelm built an art gallery in the 1690s to appease his Italian wife (homesick for her Florence opera house), Düsseldorf has been in thrall to the arts.
Paul Klee lived here during the 1930s, teaching at the Kunstakademie, the art institution responsible for both the world's top-selling living artist (Gerhard Richter) and the artist who snapped the world's most expensive photograph (Andreas Gursky).
Four hours later, there was an entire batch of them queuing for 1am currywurst.
It transpired that these were members from one of Düsseldorf's 60 carnival clubs.
"Seems like a canny place," said Jimmy Nail's brickie, Oz, in Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.
And despite the 1980s comic-drama depicting Düsseldorf as a less-glamorous Middlesbrough (its first series was set here), he was right.
But upon drifting away from boisterous Bolkerstrasse (the main thoroughfare), I stumbled across chanson bars, urbane cocktail bars such as Melody and incongruously, a jazz club called Doc Music housing an Elvis Presley museum.The Altstadt also has a high hipster quota, especially at skinny-jean-heavy Stone Club or starkly furnished brewpub Brauerei Kürzer. Squirreled away inside the cuboid Kunsthalle (art gallery), I found the electroclub thronged with geometric-fringed arty overspill.The DJ was spinning "Cosmic Disco" (African-inspired Italo-disco) – curious enough – but on other nights, the Salon hosts even more outlandish events such as the annual festival where musicians play pianos using ping pong balls, barbecue skewers and vibrating sex toys.The timestamp is only as accurate as the clock in the camera, and it may be completely wrong.
In Düsseldorf, the notion of "going for a quiet drink" is anathema. At breweries such as Zum Schlüssel, tray-lugging waiters plonk a fresh glass of beer on your table whenever they spy an empty, whether you ask for it or not.
Such is the parochial pride in Altbier, I spotted everybody from chicly-attired businesswomen to grisly-looking Rammstein fans supping the refreshing sharpener over the course of a weekend.