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I didn’t believe that feminism and BDSM were at all incompatible.” Another self-described feminist who is quite active in the BDSM community is California-based Mollena Williams, who has written and lectured about female submission extensively.But the reality is that submissive kinky women are far from the shrinking violets that BDSM’s critics have characterized them as being, and in many cases, they are women who know exactly what they want in a relationship.Outside of the BDSM scene, there are many misconceptions about submissive women.“That’s a misconception because submissive women know exactly what kinds of partners they want and what they want to do and how they want to play. I think that everybody who is into BDSM has some type of fantasy that they want to fulfill, and that includes submissive women.” Wright continued: “Being submissive is very compatible with feminism because it is choosing your own form of sexual expression.
In the end, sexuality is empowering—and you can empower people in all the diverse ways that they enjoy sexuality. That’s certainly why I did the SM policy project for the National Organization for Women.“The fact is that in day-to-day life, you can’t walk around being submissive to everyone,” Williams asserted. You can’t be submissive to the person in front of you on the freeway who is driving at 40 miles an hour; you have to make a decision and go around them.